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Three Essays about Love

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The Distance
I met him on the messenger a few months ago. Eventually, I visited him and met him in person. Everything was perfect, we had a wonderful time together. But a few weeks later, we both had to wake up and face reality because I had to return home.

He promised me everything: that he would wait for me, that he would do everything in his power for us to be together, and he told me a very important thing, the most important thing, that he LOVES ME… and I believed him with all my heart because he showed it in his eyes, in the way he spoke to me… But now I am far away and I am afraid he forgets me, he forgets the beautiful moments we had together.

There are 4000km between us. I don’t know when we’ll see each other again, I hope it’ll be for Christmas. I speak to him every day and he tells me he cares about me, that he loves me, that he would never cheat on me.

I would like for the magic to last forever, to be in love like the first day and until the day we die. It’s 5:41 and I still can’t sleep, I keep thinking about him and I’m listening to our song, I miss him so… I wish he were here, close to my heart, to hold him and never let him go. I am looking at our pictures and tears run down my cheeks… so many memories, so many beautiful moments spent together. All I have left now is waiting and looking at our pictures…

Separation
Firstly, you love her out of pity, or because you feel you have a duty to a soul who loves you unconditionally, or do you love her because you know it makes her happy? Then you get used to her smile, her voice, and little by little you learn to love her and you feel the need to have her beside you daily; you actually become addicted to her presence.
You stop caring about your friends and the people around you and you say you can’t live without her. You know she loves you, you hurt her, maybe unwillingly or maybe aware of what you are doing. You do it because you have found something better, or maybe you get bored and want something else. She’s not perfect, I know. But remember, not long ago her biggest flaw was her quality.
And maybe you’ll leave her. Without a word, letting her understand for herself, you don’t even have the courage to face her. Why? Because you’re a COWARD, hiding, but your eyes give you away. You’re a bad actor and you mock a person who doesn’t deserve it. You’re tough in front of your friends, who cares what she feels? You know very well she loves you in her own way, she’s not perfect, she’s just a child who loves you…

No more
I have reached a point where I can say: All right, stop thinking about me… if you feel bad… leave. If I hurt you, don’t stay any more. I want you to be happy. The way you think you can be. If all this love turned into humiliation, and all the wellness is forgotten in a few hours… why do you bother any more. Why go home and suffer because you can’t make a decision.
You will decide based on the life you are living. You don’t have the courage to change anything.
Yes, maybe in your eyes I humiliate myself, but only I know what’s in my heart. Only I know what my love means and what I could do for it..


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